Filling the Well Part 1

Some of my articles here were originally worked up and posted in my small private journal. Prosperity, creativity, and personal growth have been on my mind for some time. Here's a two part article that was sparked by my reading of The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. I wrote it shortly after our family moved to a new home.

Cameron talks about "filling the well" in The Artist's Way. The idea is that creative inspiration comes from an internal well and that you have to replenish this well in order to continue being creative. Her point caused some general thinking on this topic and this morning I had a revelation -- creative inspiration isn't the only well we've got to keep filled.

I was thinking about how much chaos has been in our lives these past few weeks and how it's left me feeling depleted on several levels. Financially, we spent money on the move. Physically, our immune systems have been under some stress and we haven't been eating or sleeping well. Emotionally we're strung out and snappy. Mentally, we're tapped out and sluggish.

And no wonder! Between house hunting and packing and illness and emergency dental procedures and terrible weather and moving and on and on and on -- it's a wonder we're still holding things together right now. But we are. And we are primarily because we started this move some some reserves. Financially, we had cash for burly men and double utilities and lots of takeout. Physically we had been taking care of ourselves. Emotionally, we were happy and getting along. Mentally, we were sharp and thinking straight. We had some water in those various wells so that, even if there's a bit of a drought now, we are still OK.

That's good, because life can really seem like a long series of ups and downs in this way. There are times when all's well and running smoothly. Then there are other times when everything seems to go crazy and you need to expend lots of energy just hanging in there.

This led me to an interesting thought. If, in accordance with common wisdom, life has its ups and downs, then the key to living well is handling those changes well. For example, one of the results of moving is that you tend to get less than optimal sleep. Last week my husband was so tired that he brewed himself an extra cup of afternoon coffee. The next day in the afternoon he and I had the following conversation:

Him: I slept like crap last night.
Me: You had that coffee really late in the day.
Him: Yeah and I couldn't sleep and now I'm exhausted. Maybe I should have another cup of coffee now.
Me: Wait a second! Then you won't sleep well tonight again and will want extra coffee again tomorrow...

He agreed and just toughed it out until an early bedtime. Now the problem isn't that sometimes you're tired and want a little extra coffee. The problem is that this sort of thing can cause a very negative cycle. The next thing you know you've got a pot a day habit and a serious insomnia problem. And the results of that one stressful time start to trickle into the rest of your life. Soon the move will be done and life should calm down (knock wood) and we'll be back to sleeping better. But if we don't handle things during the rough time correctly, then it won't stop there.

And this gave me a very light bulb over the head kind of moment. Because everything is like that. If you're flush with cash, but blow it all playing the ponies, when you need the extra money during a dry patch it won't be there. So you'll be very stressed and anxious. Then when another flush period arrives, you'll be so relieved to be out from under that crushing stress that you'll probably be even more likely to blow the money (let's party!). There's no equilibrium and you'll always be stuck.

Here's another example. Your job is very stressful and taxing. At the end of each day you can barely expend the mental effort to turn on the TV for a few hours before falling into bed. But because of that you have no extra energy to spend finding a new job. Again, stuck.

A final example. You let yourself get run down and very, very ill. Three weeks later, you stumble out of your sick room to find that now you're behind on absolutely everything -- from work to social obligations. So off you run, doing and catching up and calling and emailing... until once again you crash, because you never gave yourself time to heal in the beginning.

Having ups and downs is a cycle. But never being able to build any reserves because if it is a vicious cycle. It goes from being an occasional rough time you deal with to an endless rough time that never seems to let up. And let's be honest, the checks you bounce when you're in that dry patch, the ill-will you build at the job you hate, the obligations you can't meet because you're always sick... those are the kinds of actions that lead directly to more rough times ahead! And not because of any metaphysical woo-woo, but through clear cause and effect.

So this leads leads to two obvious questions: First, how do you avoid sliding into such a vicious cycle? Second, and even more critical, how do you get yourself out of one. The first question is easier. Simply take time to fill those wells when things are calm. Put a little cash aside when there's extra. Eat right and get good sleep and exercise so that your health will be good. Take time to make and strengthen contacts with family and friends for the emotional good it brings. Keep your mind fresh by giving it a little exercise as well. And above all, let yourself enjoy the good times without overindulging. Then, when eventually the inevitable busy or stressful season comes, you'll be in the best shape possible to weather it.

The second question is a lot harder...

Filling the Well Part Two